10 Rules of Anal Sex

Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women - straight, gay and bisexual - are experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbour of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years ago, Kinsey stated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse. Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal sex.

1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.
There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex.
Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration. Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.

2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if done properly.
The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With its high concentration of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of great pleasure. When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly from the absence of discomfort. Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire. Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only in proportion to the degree of receptivity.

3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortable in the past.
Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous experience always the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex. Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. Haemorrhoids and constipation are usually a sign of this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time to explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the anus and the letting go in another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys masturbation might want to experiment with some form of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs. For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partner to massage the anus with the understanding that intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure that this erogenous zone is capable of generating.

4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround the anal opening.
Each functions independently. If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system - just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want. The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress response. The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety and comfort are essential here. Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower each day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes spontaneously and in response to behaviour. In this instance, simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at will.

5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of pleasure.
The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure. Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not presage an impending bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in which several fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower colon. In men, the prostate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near the anal opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex. Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly - and delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.

6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm
A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement of being anally penetrated. When men experience an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they are also responding to indirect
Stimulation of the penile bulb. Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies. An almost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to have one. Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure. It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few people have orgasms only with anal stimulation.

7. Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal sex
Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fibber in a person's diet to make his or her faeces soft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be produced without force or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fibber.

8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the vagina and rectum
Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume the same rules apply for the penetration of the vagina and rectum. Although both are lined with soft tissue and are capable of expanding, they are radically dissimilar. The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body. A few inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops toward the front of the body once again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become irretrievable. The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only a small amount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetration always requires a lubricant. Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible. The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for faeces. But faeces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum, especially if the faeces are not well formed. Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especially concerned with cleanliness to relax. For others the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douching is anti-erotic.

9. Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of dominance and submission.
The top-bottom imagery associated with anal intercourse is widespread. No doubt the belief that anal sex has to hurt contributes to this notion. And in fact some people are intensely excited by top-bottom fantasies about anal sex. The thought that they are submitting to such a degrading act is a terrific thrill. However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain can lead to trouble. For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is inhibited by top-bottom imagery. The idea of surrendering control, and perhaps submitting to humiliation, causes immediate, protective tensing of the anal muscles. These individuals are more likely to relax and enjoy themselves if they can learn to regard anal sex as pleasurable rather than as an expression of power.

10. Anal sex can be perfectly safe, even beneficial.
The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated by the almost universal belief among physicians that anal sex is inevitably dangerous. No physical injury from anal stimulation results if both partners refuse to tolerate pain, never use force and avoid the use of drugs. All the other risks centre on sexually transmitted diseases. Each of the common STDs - gonorrhoea, syphilis, herpes - can affect the anus. Intestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are usually passed along when faecal matter finds its way into someone's mouth or vagina, most likely through rimming. AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus can pass from the semen or blood of an infected person to the bloodstream of a partner through a tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal intercourse. To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming should not be practiced casually. Those who do enjoy anal intercourse should always use a condom. Rimming should always be accomplished by a latex barrier. Of course, in a monogamous relationship with two healthy people, the risk of disease transmitted anally is reduced. Thousands of men and women with chronic anal medical problems have restored their anal health by challenging their negative attitudes. This approach is indispensable for full erotic enjoyment of the anus.

* Jack Morin, PhD, a San Francisco sex therapist and researcher, is the author of Anal Pleasure and Health

Note: If you find this guide helpful and would like to learn more about anal sex, then you might also enjoy reading the books Anal Pleasure and Health or The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, or watching the educational videotapes Bend Over Boyfriend, Nina Hartley's Guide to Anal Sex, Rosebud Massage, or Exploring the Land Down Under.

Top 10 quotes of the week

1. “It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her."

2. "Men play the game; women know the score."

3. "When a young man complains that a young lady has no heart, it‘s pretty certain that she has his"

4. "A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed."

5. "If women didn‘t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."

6. "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her."

7. "It‘s kind of fun to do the impossible."

8. "I am not afraid of death, I just don‘t want to be there when it happens."

9. "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance."

10. "If at first you don‘t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Every Girl Dreams.....

1. Get kissed in the rain
2. Have that one hott kiss where your pressed against the wall
3. Have a guy that thinks you're the world
4. Have a guy that holds on as long as possible when giving hugs
5. A boy that whispers he loves you in your ear
6. Have that moment where you just gaze into each other's eyes
7. When you cry, he kisses your tears away.
8. When you're not with your guy he's all that youcan think about
9. Wearing his jacket and everytime you breathin,his scent surrounds you
10. A guy who will watch any movie with you, no matter how teary eyed you may get.
11. A guy who squeezes your hand
12. A boy that says he loves you and means it
13. A guy that will play her favorite song outsideher window
14. A guy who is loyal
15. A guy that will sing to you no matter how bad he is at it.
16. A guy that will kiss you on the forehead.
17. A guy that will call you beautiful oradorable...not hot, fine, or sexy
18. A guy that will never judge you for how youlook.
19. A boy that says cheezy stuff to you just to make u smile
20. A boy that is the same when he is with you and when with friends
21. A boy that tells you everything honestly
22. A boy that is good with your family and introduces you to his family
23. A guy that will always let you win
24. A guy who stands up for you no matter who itis against
25. A guy who calls you at night just to say 'hi'and see how your day has been
26. A boy who tells you that your smile makes his day and makes everything better
27. A boy who will sit on the phone with you whenyou're sad, even if you're quiet
28. A boy who you can hangout and have fun with
29. A boy that will just randonmly call you for no reason at all, just because he missed you
30. A guy who will hold your hand through the roughest parts of life.
31. A guy who would love you forever no matterthe circumstance.
32. A guy who wouldn't mind you wanting to getall dressed up and do your make up for him. Even ifhe says he likes you better without make up.
33. A guy who you can be yourself with and he willnever give a care and would still tell you that youare amazing to him.
34. A guy who runs his fingers through your hair,like he's washing your worries/troubles away.
35. A guy who tells you you make his day better ,just for being you

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It's called Deep Throating

Can You Actually Take It All In?(the answer: "yes, you can!")

You’re kidding, right?
No, we’re not. One of the first things you encounter when you start sucking cock is your gag reflex. Most men seem to want to force their cocks down your throat as far as they can get it (particularly at the moment when they cum!). As discussed earlier, it's a man's nature to want to thrust his cock into you as far as he can get it, particularly at the moment when he cums. If he wants all of his cock in you, can you take it all in? Do you want to take it all in (in fact, do you even need to take it all in)? Consider this: the length of your mouth from your lips to the back of your throat is about 3" to 3½", while the average cock's length is 5" to 5½". The laws of nature would seem to say that getting all of that cock into your mouth is an impossibility... but the laws of sex say that you'll want to get all of it inside you.
Hey, don't look so sad! Many women can do it and so can you - you can take as much of his cock into you as you want. You simply take as much of it into your mouth as will fit there, and then slide your throat down over its head until the rest of it is in your mouth and your face is buried in his bush. It's called deep throating, and when you really get into cock sucking you'll probably want to do it. The term was made popular in the ‘70s porno movie of the same name starring the (now) infamous Linda Lovelace. She wasn't the first woman to do it by any means: women have been taking men's cocks down their throats for centuries… she simply popularized the term used today.
Can anyone learn to perform deep throat? Yes and no. For example, if you have a very small oral cavity and are attempting to slide a very large penis into your throat, no matter how great your desire it may just be physically impossible. That said, in most cases, with some practice the "average" woman can easily deep throat the "average" penis. Extremes, either way, are rare.
Do you really need to do this to give great head?
You can give your man fabulous head without using your throat. Remember, most of the action occurs at the head of his cock – taking any more of it into your mouth is simply the icing on the cake. You can use your mouth on the head of his cock and your hand on its shaft and put him on cloud nine. But, maybe you’re the kind of women who likes both the cake and the icing, and is willing to work for it – even if it means burying your face in his bush. Although most men will be satisfied with the cake, there aren’t many men who would turn down the icing if offered. You need to try it enough to discover if you get any pleasure from this act – if you've given it a good try and simply don't like it, then don't do it… he'll understand. And, it's especially fulfilling to deep throat someone that isn't expecting it... their eyes grow as large as a silver dollar when you slide the whole length in for the very first time!

Why would you want to learn to deep throat?
Four reasons immediately come to mind:
First, it is visually arousing... very visually arousing! Many of you have seen videos or pictures of a woman deep throating an erect penis. It is a very erotic image, especially watching her neck and throat expand and bulge as the penis slides in-and-out… and one that all men get off on!
Second, if you don't like the taste of your man's semen but he wants to ejaculate in your mouth, when you perform deep throat the head of his penis is in so deeply that it extends past the taste buds that are on the back of the tongue. While this doesn't completely eliminate the taste, it is not as strong when done this way.
Third, it a power thing for a woman to do. He must completely trust her. She has all the control.
Fourth, when done right, with enthusiasm and skill, most men find it very, VERY pleasurable. Imagine your delight when you hear your man moan with pleasure as you do things to his penis that most men only dream of!

What does it feel like for your man?
Most men report that they feel a "pleasurable ring of tightness" around the circumference of the penis just below the head with the most pleasurable sensation focused on the underside of the cock where the head joins the shaft (by the way, this area is the most sensitive region on the penis - when done correctly, you can bring your man to a very powerful orgasm just by sucking and licking on this spot). Almost no one says they dislike the feeling.

This sounds WAY to difficult!
It's actually fairly easy to learn to "take it all in." Getting his cock in your throat is easy – getting your throat used to it being in there is what takes practice. While it might be a tad boring, if you understand the anatomy of your mouth and throat, you'll see how easy it really is to take his hard cock down into your throat. The biggest obstacle to getting it into your throat is not the size of either his cock or your throat – it’s that sharp bend behind your tongue at the entrance to your throat. Stand in front of a wall mirror and use a hand mirror to get a good side view of your head and neck. Open your mouth wide… tilt your head as far back as you can and see how your open mouth almost lines up with your neck. There, that bend is almost gone. Check out your guy's cock – feel how flexible it really is – especially the end of it. Look at the shape of its head; you’ll note that there will be no problem sliding it around that curve.
A little more anatomy – yours this time. Recall that the length of your mouth (the oral cavity) is 3" to 3½" from your lips to what I'm going to call the back of your throat (the vertical part of your throat that you see when you look in a mirror). Your trachea – the tube to your lungs – is at the front of your neck (you can feel it with your fingers). Your esophagus – the tube to your stomach – sits behind the trachea. Your throat – which is vertical and about 4" long – connects your mouth to your esophagus in a straight line. When you take anything into your mouth, your tongue rises against the rear part of the roof of your mouth (the soft pallet with its attached uvula) to close off your throat. When you swallow, your tongue whips backwards and shoots whatever is in your mouth down your throat and into your esophagus. There's an opening in the front side of your throat that leads into the larynx (the entrance to your trachea). The larynx has a flap or lid – the epiglottis – that closes off the larynx to prevent anything from entering your trachea (e.g. his cum) when you swallow. The larynx also contains your vocal cords. The amazing thing about this arrangement is that it lets his cock slide from your mouth down to the bottom of your throat without entering your larynx or disturbing your vocal cords.
Your throat is about 2" wide at its entrance (a little less from front-to-back as it passes behind the larynx). It's somewhat bigger in diameter than the "average" cock. The entrance into your esophagus from your throat is only about 1" in diameter, so his cock generally won't go into your esophagus without lots of practice and conditioning. So, the math says that you can easily slide your mouth and throat down over a cock that is about 7" to 9" long and about 1½ " to 2" in diameter. How does this compare to the size of your man? (Answer: these statistics encompass more than nine out of every ten men) Doing so will have your lips pressed against his groin and have the head of his cock just pressing against the bottom of your throat. It makes a nice fit… your guy's cock will just about fill your mouth and throat, you'll like the feel of it filling you up.

Sounds great in theory, but can I really do it?
Let’s use an analogy that all you contact lens wearers will readily understand. Remember the difficulty you had overcoming the involuntary urge to blink the first few times you tried to put in your lenses? And, for those that wore hard contacts, do you remember the moderate discomfort and copious tears the first time they were placed in your eyes? But with practice and patience you were able to stop tearing, stop experiencing any discomfort, insert them on the first try, and (by gradually increasing the amount of time they were in your eyes) get to where you could keep them in all day. The same applies to deep throating! In the same way that you really wanted to learn to wear your contact lenses, if you really want to learn to give deep throat, are patient, and practice the techniques described in the next several sections, and you’ll be a world-class deep throater in no time at all! I promise!!
Okay, let’s give it a try… I think…
What I’m going to suggest is that you should do some homework before you try to deep throat a real live cock. While technical discussions about anything as pleasurable and emotional as sex is no fun, on the other hand you don’t want to run into any unpleasant surprises that will turn you off before you experience the pleasures of deep throating. You'll need to learn some simple details that'll help you overcome your gag reflex and control your breathing before the pleasures of deep throating can really be enjoyed.
Obviously, one of the first things you probably encountered when you started sucking his cock was a gag reflex when it went too far in. It's the natural tendency of your body to gag when a foreign object, such as a deeply thrusting cock, is trying to slide down into your throat. But with practice you can learn to control your gag reflex. You then learn how to relax your tongue so you can slide his cock past it and down into your throat (you also have to learn to control your tongue during the entire time you're deep throating).

Hey, my days as a student are way behind me!
In fact, there's really not much learning involved. You've already gotten used to having his cock in your mouth – now all you have to do is get used to having it in your throat. Here’s what you do: get yourself a soft, flexible dildo of the "proper size" so you can practice with it in private at your leisure (the solid jellies are the most comfortable). You may want to get what is called a "double dong" so that you'll have something straight with enough length to hold on to – 1¼" in diameter and about 10" long (!) is a good size to start with. Most cocks are not much bigger in diameter and you need one this long to find out how much cock you can take. If your guy's cock is bigger in diameter, then also get one that is about ¼" to ½" wider than his penis (after you’ve mastered the one-and-a-quarter you’ll want to practice on the larger size so that you’ll know that you’ll be successful when it’s time to perform on the real thing).

Yeeech… you want me to swallow what???
You just use the dildos to limber up the muscles of the throat: start with the smallest and work your way up (since the muscles in the throat are like any other muscle in your body you’ll find that they will limber-up and expand the more you practice). Remember that the tighter the fit, the better it feels for your man. And, depending on the size and shape of your throat, you may even be able to breathe slowly through your mouth (maybe even through your nose) after you get the dildo past your pallet and down into your throat a ways. Otherwise, learn to time your breathing with the in-and-out strokes of the dildo. Note: NEVER, NEVER, EVER practice on hot dogs, sausages, cucumbers, zucchini, or even peeled bananas - they can break-off in your throat and choke you!

You’ve got a really strong gag reflex? Then try this –
If you don't have any adverse reaction to the medicine, dissolve one-or-two Cepacol (or equivalent) sore throat lozenges in your mouth about 15 minutes before you start to practice with the dildo (they will mildly anesthetize your throat and will help eliminate the gag reflex until you get used to having it in your throat). An alternative method is to place ½ teaspoon of liquid Oragel (a medicine normally used to numb the gums when experiencing tooth pain) in a syringe, place the syringe on the back of your tongue, squirt in the contents onto the back of your throat, and swallow. After a minute-or-so your throat will be completely numb. The effect will last about 5 minutes, provided you don’t drink anything (just don’t over do it – never use more than two dosages per evening, as more could make you sick). Be careful though and don't get too aggressive with the dildo when your throat is anesthetized or you could bruise the lining at the back without feeling it.
By the way, you may think you see a short cut here (but there really aren’t any short cuts when learning to be a virtuoso, right?): why not just deaden your throat, skip all of this practice, and go straight to doing your man? Great concept, except that the same medicine that is deadening your gag reflex will also deaden the nerve endings in his penis after just a couple of thrusts. Your short cut into the world of deep throating will then come to a screeching halt as he loses his erection. If you’re wondering whether all of this is worth it, remember the old adage: if you’re going to do something, do it right the first time!
Prior to starting, be sure that the dildo (and, eventually, his cock) is thoroughly lubricated. THIS CANNOT BE OVEREMPHASIZED! Strangely, an excellent lubricant is the makeup remover Albolene (it is completely odorless and tasteless, is non-toxic, and has the added benefit of warming as it melts!) – it can be purchased at any local pharmacy. Another alternative is heavy mineral oil (also available at the local pharmacy). Just note that saliva is not enough, particularly when you’re starting out!

I think I can… I think I can… I think I can…
To start, you want to be as relaxed as possible (yeah, right!). Take a long, hot bubble bath. Drink a glass of wine. Put on some relaxing music. When you're ready to practice you want to be as comfortable as possible. Now that you know what you're pushing it into, open your mouth and slowly slide the dildo in as far as you can without gagging. Hold it there and breathe normally, until you're comfortable with it this deeply in your mouth. When you put something in your mouth, you begin to salivate. It's difficult to swallow the saliva with the dildo in your mouth (since it will interfere with your tongue as it tries to drive things out of your mouth and down your throat). You can go through the motions of swallowing with the dildo in your mouth (but you probably won't swallow much if it's very far in). If you do get the urge to swallow, do it… it won't hurt anything and you can't really swallow the dildo (or his cock when the time comes for that). For most women, swallowing suppresses the gag reflex, so practice swallowing with the dildo in your mouth – starting with it just past your teeth and continuing until it's all the way down your throat. (Hint… once you’ve mastered the basic technique, try swallowing when you get his cock in your throat, it feels great to him)

Make yourself gag slightly… Really.
If your head is tilted back, the saliva will run down your throat and interfere with your breathing – so you'll have to take the dildo out and clear your mouth and throat from time to time. Try sliding the dildo in a little farther. By now you've probably got it to the point where you'll start to gag. When you feel like you're going to gag, try swallowing – this usually stops the gag reflex. If it doesn't, pull out the dildo and relax. Be sure to concentrate on the feelings and physical reactions your body has when you trigger the gag reflex. You want to deliberately trigger your gag reflex so that you can learn what causes it, recognize it’s warning signs, and ultimately control it. The entire point to these exercises is for you to learn to recognize your body’s natural reactions. By recognizing them you can control them.

Keep after it… nothing great is ever easy!
Now slide it slowly back in until you feel the gag reflex again, pull it back out a little, swallow and push it back in. Use your tongue to play with the dildo. Feel how it fits in your mouth. Learn to get your tongue to come down from the roof of your mouth at the rear when you have the dildo in there (you'll have to get it down before you can get the dildo to go down into your throat).
Stick your tongue out as far as you can between your teeth and the dildo. This will pull your tongue down, so that all you’ll have to do is get used to keeping it down. Now, play some music, read a book, watch TV, just get used to it being in there. Suck on it, work on it like it was a big piece of stick candy. When you get used to it being in that far, slide it in further. Keep going, a little at a time, until it comes up against the back of your throat. As it nears the back of your throat, it'll begin to close off the passage to your nose and interfere with your normal breathing (despite this, you will probably be able to breathe through your mouth, so give that a try). If you can't, just take a deep breath, slide it in and hold it there until you need to take another breath – then take it out, breathe, and slide it back in again. Keep practicing with the dildo until you're comfortable with it in your mouth, your tendency to gag is gone, and you can keep your tongue down.

Hey, this isn’t that hard. What’s next?
Once you're used to the dildo being all the way in your mouth, the next step is to start getting it down into your throat. To do this you'll have to get it "around the corner." Tilt your head back so that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line and try to slide it in further. You will encounter some resistance; try tilting your head back-and-forth while you're sliding it in (you'll be able to feel the improvement this makes). There's also a vertical ridge in the back of your throat – the dildo will slip to one side or the other of this ridge as you continue to push in on it... You can twist it around to make it go one way or the other (if one side begins to feel uncomfortable, use the other).
In the beginning, the best way to get it "around the corner" and down into your throat isn't to just push it but to literally inhale it. This is also easier on the back of your throat. Put the dildo all the way in your mouth and fold your tongue up around it to make a seal, hold your nose, and, while gently pushing in on it, inhale hard using your lungs to suck it around the corner. It'll go easily as your lungs pull it down into your throat (you may be able to inhale it by simply inhaling quickly and deeply). You'll have to limit how deep a breath you take before you try to inhale it though. Once you get it around the corner, it'll just slide on down. With practice, you'll probably be able to simply slide it in your mouth and on down to the bottom of your throat with one smooth stroke, but inhaling it can also be sort of fun too. When you push the dildo into your throat, it wants to stop against the back of your throat; as you push harder, it suddenly breaks loose and sort of pops down into your throat – after which it slides on down almost as easily as it went into your mouth.

That seems a lot easier said than done…
Don't try to slide it all the way down your throat at first… just get it around the corner. If you can breathe with the dildo in your throat, great, open that book back up; otherwise, when you need to breathe, pull the dildo back out, take a deep breath, slide it back in and then open the book up. While it's in there, move it in-and-out some, twist it around. If you feel that you're going to gag, try swallowing or pull back on the dildo, it'll pop right out. If you do gag or cough with it still in your throat, don't worry, it won't hurt anything. Pull it out, relax, then try it again.
After you get the dildo down in your throat, it doesn't make much difference how you hold your head. It'll feel more comfortable in some positions and will have some effect on your breathing (but nothing major). With your head held back, your saliva will run down your throat and may interfere with your breathing. If you sit upright and are breathing through your mouth, it'll drool out of your mouth. The most comfortable position is probably sitting upright in a chair with a headrest, breathing through your mouth with a towel under your chin.

I’ve been practicing, and it is getting easier
After your throat gets used to the dildo being in that far, slide it in further and hold it there for a while. Continue sliding it down into your throat one step at a time, holding it after each step to swallow and relax your throat. Continue this pattern until you've got it in about 4" or 5". Remember to keep the dildo heavily lubricated! If your throat starts to feel sore or just doesn't like for the dildo to be in there, stop and try it again the next day. Or, you might also try rubbing some Ben Gay or other topical muscle relaxant on your neck (external use only, of course!). Just don't feel discouraged: these details will soon become second nature and you won't even realize you're doing them. Remember, you're practicing with the dildo so that one evening, when you're busily working away on his cock, you can look up at him, smile, and, with one smooth movement, bury your face in his pubes (which will be guaranteed to produce a very loud gasp from him!). Look forward to taking his cock into your throat… it'll feel good there, not foreign like the dildo. The real thing is much softer and will enter your throat far more easily and without any discomfort.

How’s your breathing?
Most of the time, you'll want to breathe through your nose when you've got his cock in your mouth. Find out where the dildo begins to block the breathing passage from your nose to your throat. It'll be at the point where the dildo pushes back on your soft pallet and uvula as it begins to enter your throat. Slide it in-and-out, blocking and uncovering your breathing passage, until you can readily find the location and recognize what it feels like. The soft palate, which closes off your throat from your nose, may tend to stay closed as you withdraw the dildo, especially if you're trying to exhale at the same time… you'll get used to controlling this.

My God! I’m actually able to do this!!
You'll soon get to the point where you can stroke the dildo in-and-out from your teeth well down into your throat and wiggle it around in your throat without getting the urge to gag on it. Now, slide it on down and find out how much cock you can really take. As it slides past the entrance to your trachea you may get a choking response and cough – kind of like you had taken some water down the wrong way. Just pull it back out and relax, then put it back in and play around in that area until your throat gets used to it. If the choking response doesn't ease up, take it out and try it again the next day. When you feel any significant resistance or discomfort, probably around 7" to 9", stop – you’ve hit your bottom line where your esophagus begins. If you’re standing by a mirror, you may be amazed that you can actually see where the dildo is by the moving bulge in your neck! Unless you’re really adventurous, set the limit of the size cock you'll allow anyone to shove into your throat about an inch short of that point (this still gives plenty of room to take the average cock all the way in). On one of your practice strokes, take a deep breath and keep the dildo almost at the bottom of your throat, sliding it in-and-out using 1" to 2" strokes at about one stroke a second – this will help get the bottom of your throat used to the feeling of his climax.

This is SO kewel – but my man is really long…
I referred above to you "really adventurous types" (which, in effect means wanting to swallow the top 1% or 2% of the cocks out there). If your man is exceedingly lengthy and you just won’t be happy until you can swallow all of him to the root, here’s the method you’ll need to penetrate further into the esophagus (remember, it’s difficult, but you’ve seen sword-swallowers do it... so it must be possible).
At this juncture your brain has become paranoid that this massive intruder might go into your windpipe, so it’s creating a sphincter in there that closes up. How do you get around it? Well, have you ever sucked air into your stomach to make a burp? You do it by sort of opening your throat and sucking in – that’s the technique you use to get down into your esophagus. When you feel the dildo (or his cock) "hit bottom" around the 7" to 9" mark, do four things right away: (1) pretend that you’re trying to swallow air to make a burp and open your throat; (2) swallow hard (very important!); (3) move your tongue vigorously inward; and (4) shove gently.
The first few times you might have to shove a little harder than you might believe, because you are fighting against your own brain here. (Also, the first few times there will probably be a momentary flash of a brand new sensation deep in your throat – this is caused by the stimulation of thousands of nerves that had hitherto been unused. Your brain is rapidly trying to sort out whether it’s pain, or heat, or what… in actuality, it’s just pressure, which your brain will figure-out in a second or two). As you gain experience, your brain will eventually recognize the signals, and you will feel only the pleasure of the dildo’s surface sliding along the smooth surface of the inside of your esophagus. It’s definitely more difficult than simple deep throating, but certainly not impossible if you want to attempt it.

Hey, you’re getting really good at this!
As you practice with the dildo, develop a breathing rhythm. Stop with the dildo just clear of your throat, take a deep breath and hold it. Then, push the dildo into your throat, sliding it all the way to the bottom in one smooth motion and hold it there until you feel the need to exhale. Smoothly withdraw the dildo until it just clears your breathing passage, stop, quickly exhale-and-inhale, hold your breath and take the dildo all the way back in. Wait until you need to take another breath and repeat the cycle. Do this until the breathing cycle becomes second nature without even thinking about it (and it does not take long to learn). If you practice every day for about 10-to-15 minutes a day, you'll have it down into your throat in less than a week. Another week of 15-to-20 minutes a day and you'll be comfortably stroking it down to the bottom of your throat.
By the way, you can also practice in-between your sessions with the dildo by using either two fingers, or a toothbrush or a brush handle (so long as there are no sharp edges and there’s a "handle" at one end, for you can hang on to). NEVER let yourself get discouraged! Always remember, where there is a will there is a way!!

Deep Throating the Real Thing
Positions again…
One of the best positions to practice deep throating with a real live cock is to kneel in front of him with your head tilted back while he's standing. But the most restful position – and the one you should use when you first start – is with him sitting up slightly in bed while you kneel between his legs with your head tilted back.
Size and shape considerations
The size and shape of most cocks is normally not a problem for deep throating… you can guide it with your hands if you have to, and (unless your oral cavity is abnormally small) can normally relax enough to handle some pretty big ones. Although curved ones can be fun to play with, the curve of his cock can sometimes present a problem. When you examine his cock, which way is it curved? Lay him on his back and work up a good hard-on for him. Which way is it pointing? Most guys' cocks will curve slightly up toward their head or point straight to the ceiling. If his does either, then you'll probably be able to slide it home without any problems. A nice curve in the upward direction can be a perfect fit for man on top 69... it's the downward curve that's a problem. If it curves down very much, you may not be able to deep throat in the 69 position as his cock will tend to bend instead of slide in. You would have to guide it in with your hands on each stroke. However, it will work fine if you kneel in front of him where he could hold your head with his hands and fuck away.

Think you’re ready? Then prepare to blow his mind!
By now, having practiced with the dildo, you should be able to slide your mouth and throat down over his cock until your lips are buried in his bush without getting the slightest urge to gag… all-the-while working it around in the bottom of your throat for as long as you can hold your breath (if you haven't yet gotten this far, keep practicing... you don't need to rush yourself to trying it on the real thing until you are completely confident of your new found abilities). And, if you can breathe with it in your throat, you should be able to slide your throat up-and-down on his cock until you simply get tired of doing it or until he cums (which will NOT take very long at all once you start doing this!). You'll have to polish up on timing your breathing since you'll have to interact with a man now. Just as with the dildo, you may be able to breathe some with his cock down in your throat, but maybe not with it all the way in. If you're kneeling over him or in front of him, then it's easy to time as you have complete control. Remember, you're sliding your throat over his cock – he's not thrusting his cock into your throat. Be sure to keep his erection very wet with lubrication – this remains important! Lots of saliva can act as a lubricant and makes deep throat a lot easier, but, if in doubt, use extra lubrication. A slick erection is less likely to trigger the gag reflex.

Establish a few ground rules and start slowly
If he's in a position where he can thrust his cock into your throat, establish some signals for each other. The simplest ones are for you to place your hands on his hips and, in effect, pull his cock into and push it out of your mouth. Since you're just starting to learn to deep throat, choose a position where you have complete control: a good one is him sitting up slightly in bed with you kneeling between his legs. Now, suck his cock about halfway into your mouth and hold it there, working on it a little while you relax, and find the most comfortable way to proceed. When you're relaxed (DON’T rush yourself), slowly start taking it in further. Just as it begins to block your breathing, stop and relax again. When you're ready, take a deep breath through your nose and hold it. Now, slowly slide your mouth and then your throat down over his cock and use your lungs to inhale its head "around the corner" (if you need to) – but try to push your throat down over it first. Once the head has popped into your throat, your throat will simply slide on down over his cock. Be careful and don't bump your nose on his pelvic bone when you succeed! And, unless his cock is really, really big, it'll go into your throat easier than the dildo. Promise! Also, it won't irritate the back of your throat. On the plus side, if it is big enough, you won't have to use your tongue or hold your nose to inhale it into your throat.

Did you encounter any problems?
Sticking out your tongue between your teeth and his cock – to get the back of it down and out of the way – is the key to pushing the entrance to your throat over his cock without having to inhale it. This isn’t unlike when your doctor uses a tongue depressor to push down on your tongue so he can look down into your throat. If everything is going your way, you'll be able to push it around the corner and bury your face into his pubes in one smooth motion without having to inhale it. It'll make deep throating (and, later, if you’re interested, throat fucking) much more enjoyable if his cock will simply slide all the way in – from your teeth to the bottom of your throat – in one smooth stroke. There will probably always be a slight hesitation as his cock pops around the corner and starts down into your throat, but that tends to feel good for him anyway. In fact, don’t be surprised to find him playing around back there, rubbing his coronal ridge back and forth through that restriction into your throat.
Remember asking the question "Can You Take It All In?" Right now you may be wondering just how far in is "all the way in"? As your lips get near his groin, you may find his balls start getting in the way. The front of his scrotum is attached to the bottom of his cock, a little way out from his body (how far out depends on the man). To really get his cock all the way in with your face buried in his bush and your lips pressed against his groin, you may have to take some of his scrotum into your mouth along with it. His balls hang loose inside the scrotum so you can slide your mouth on down over the front part of his scrotum leaving his balls outside (you probably won’t even notice it). When you are just stroking your throat back-and-forth over his cock and his orgasm hasn't started yet (or, you’re not really hot yet), you probably don't want to take in much of his scrotum. Save the full thrusts for those times when he is cuming, or for when you really want to feel all of it in you with your mouth and face pressed tight against his groin. Or, you may decide to just because want to play around and show-off your prowess. To answer the original question: All the way in is when his cock is tilted down slightly to get it away from his pelvic bone and your lips are pressed tightly between his groin and your teeth.
Once his cock is all the way in, hold it there… you want to get used to the sexuality of having all of it inside you. Let your passions rise, feel your nipples harden, and rejoice as the juices start to flow in your pussy as you get caught up in the intimacy of giving head. By the way, did you know you can smile with a mouthful of cock? When it starts to feel good, look up at him and try it; it'll show in your eyes and cheeks and the corners of your mouth. At all times be sure that he can watch: men love to watch (meaning, where deep throating is concerned, have the room well lit and help him readily see what you are doing to his cock)! For him, that’s half the joy in deep throating. If you can look him in the eyes as you suck him, do so! When you need to exhale, just slide your throat back up off his cock, quickly exhaling and inhaling just as it clears, then slide all the way back down over his cock again and stop. Keep repeating the cycle, pausing at the bottom of his cock each time. As you begin to enjoy it and really get into the rhythm, start to play around with his cock while you're down at the root of it. Move your head back and forth and around-and-around, working your throat over the head of his cock. Feel that luscious cock pulsing and throbbing as you work it around in your mouth and throat. Try varying lip pressure against the base of his penis – he’ll go wild – and he'll probably cum very, very quickly!

Ever heard of the Traveling Figure Eight?
After you have become accustomed to taking his cock deep into your throat try this action… it is guaranteed to take his breath away! With your lips firmly wrapped around the cock shaft, very slowly go down to the base of the shaft (your nose should be buried in or at least touching the pubic hairs at the base of the cock). Now, with your nose trace a figure "8" – as if the figure "8" were lying on it's side (your figure "8" motion should be three-to-four inches long). Slowly travel up the shaft of the cock to the head, doing the figure eight motion. Keep doing this motion and let your lips firmly travel up-and-down the cock shaft. Do this for as long as you are comfortable with it (just don’t be surprised if he blows his load then-and-there!).
By this time you are becoming more and more confident with your partner. His cock feels great as it fills your mouth and throat. The cock is becoming harder and warmer as your warm moist mouth and throat create friction by going up-and-down that big beautiful cock. It is time to cool his tool just a little with this next technique:
Go down on the cock shaft as far as you can (all the while your lips should be firmly wrapped around the shaft). Open your mouth as wide as you can and suck in as much air as your lungs will hold. While sucking in air let your open mouth travel up to the cock head. Your up-stroke motion should end at the head of his cock just as your lungs fill with air. Now, with your mouth still open, let out the air in your lungs slowly through your mouth as your opened mouth travels back down the cock shaft. This technique cools the cock on the up stoke and warms the cock with your hot breath on the down stroke. Do this skill for as long as you like (or until he cums).

…And as if all this wasn’t enough…
If you really want to blow his mind (so to speak!) try giving him a throat massage. This skill is really quite simple: while his cock is down your throat, just swallow repeatedly – the motion will act like a massage along the entire length of his cock, and will have the added benefit of reducing the likelihood of your gagging. And, if you’re feeling really adventurous, when he’s all the way down in your throat try to use the tip of your tongue to lick his balls. Just don’t be surprised if these two techniques cause him to blow his load right then and there!
You did it! Was there ever a doubt?
So, that’s all there is to it! These are the basics of deep throating. Remember, practice makes perfect, so don't forget to do your homework! Practice, practice, practice!! This isn’t like riding a bicycle – it’s more like training to run the marathon… you need to keep your throat in top physical condition, which takes lots of practice!
So, concluding, here are the highlights for successful deep throating:
Your mouth and throat need to form a relatively straight line to allow deep penetration
The penis must be thoroughly lubricated
Extend your tongue past your teeth and bottom lip to flatten the back of the tongue (and create a larger opening)
Take a deep breath and slowly slide the cock in, either pushing or inhaling it past the "pop" at the turn
Swallow and use your tongue to pull the penis downward to help alleviate gagging
Go slowly and be patient!
Throat Fucking
Huh? There’s more?
Now that you've mastered deep throating, you need to carefully consider whether or not you want to get into throat fucking. It's not for everyone, and it's not the same as deep throating. Deep throating is you sliding your throat down over his cock when the urge strikes you – during, or as a finishing touch, to great head. When a man wants you to give him head, he's in a passive mood. He wants to lie back and enjoy it to the fullest... looking forward with eager anticipation to those times when you bury your face in his bush.
Throat fucking, on the other hand, is allowing your man to take charge and thrust his cock in-and-out of your throat in a way that's pleasing to both of you. Although the motions are similar, it's not the same as fucking your cunt. All too often, throat fucking ends up allowing a man to take control and use your throat as a vagina. If a man isn't interested in the subtleties of throat fucking and just wants to treat your throat like a pussy, he's liable to be in an aggressive mood and wants to shove his cock into something new. In that case, let him find someone else to abuse!
But then life is full of apparent contradictions: sometimes you will want your lover to really fuck your throat. You may want long, quick thrusts of his cock deep into your throat with his groin coming up against your face each time he shoves his cock into you. You may find that, during man-on-top 69, when his cock thrusts into your throat and his tongue thrusts into your cunt at the same time, it feels like they are going to meet somewhere in the middle of your body. At times like that, you’ll completely surrender yourself to him, becoming caught up in pure passion, your face and pussy rising to meet each stroke. This isn't really a contradiction: it's an example of mutual trust and respect for each other. He knows how hard to thrust. He's not just using you for his sexual satisfaction, he's satisfying your sexual desires of the moment. He's deriving his pleasure as much through providing you with great sexual pleasure as he is by satisfying his own sexual desires.
One important word of caution though: in throat fucking, a big cock can be a curse. As we discussed in the anatomy lesson, if it's much over 1¾" to 2" in diameter it's going to take a determined lady to let him fuck her throat with that thing! Anything much larger than 1½:" may even present difficulties for an average woman. And, if it's 7" or more in length, watch out! He could injure the lower end of your throat and esophagus – since a cock won't easily fit into your esophagus and he'll have a tendency to bottom out.
When you deep throat your man, you suck his cock into your mouth and slide your throat down over it in a way that excites him and is also comfortable and pleasurable to you. When you engage in throat fucking, you’re letting him thrust his cock into your mouth and down into your throat in a way that's pleasurable to him and still acceptable and pleasurable for you. The two activities are not the same. It's not enough that you learn how to accept his cock during throat fucking. He has to learn how to control and direct his cock also. If you don't trust him completely, simply don't let him get on top of you and fuck your throat! After all, if he hurts you he cuts himself off from one of the great pleasures in life!
As Billy Joel sings, "It’s all about Trust"
Until you build up this level of trust, you'll never be able to relax enough to let him thrust his cock down into your throat in a way that gives you any pleasure. It will also take a significant amount of practice for him to develop a smooth straight thrust, especially if you move your head while he's thrusting. His only requirement is to keep the motion in the same direction throughout this oral exercise, as there is simply no leeway for him to vary the motion from side-to-side. Until the two of you learn to synchronize your movements, expect to see a lot of bent cocks. It's not that stiff, and if it's not pushed in straight it'll bend (but don't worry, it'll straighten back out). He also has to learn to control the intensity of his thrusts, how he pushes his cock around the corner, and how hard he brings his groin up against your face.
Remember how a man responds during his climax when he's fucking you – it’s in his nature to thrust his cock into your cunt deep and hard, especially as he near his climax. There's nothing wrong with this: he "needs" to get his sperm near your uterus to fertilize your egg. Most women like it and urge the man on, raising their vaginas to meet his thrusts. The pelvic area of both is designed for this and it doesn't hurt either. However, your face and throat are not designed for this. Hard thrusts can bruise your lips and nose and injure the back of your throat.
Positions yet again…
Before you start practicing throat fucking, you'll have to decide what position you want to be in. When he's fucking your throat, you have to hold your head still and push against him as he pushes his cock into your throat, and that can be tiring. He can stand with you kneeling in front of him with your head tilted back – this gives you the most control since you can use your hands to push his hips back and pull your head back. However, unless you can lean forward enough, he may have to hold your head with his hands to help you push against him so that he can thrust his cock down into your throat without tiring you (but that can be sensual for both of you). 69 is probably not the best one to start with; however, it may be the best position with him on top (once both of you are comfortable with throat fucking). One problem with throat fucking in the 69 position is that he has a hard time keeping his mind on fucking you and sucking you at the same time. Don't worry about his problems though… just lie there and enjoy being eaten and face-fucked at the same time!
Lying on the bed with your head tilted sharply-back over the edge should be comfortable for you. It lines up your mouth, throat, and his cock better than other positions and provides support for your head so you don't have to push back against his thrusts. He can straddle your face and easily slide his cock all the way in... but it's a little harder for you to control the thrusts of his cock since you won't be able to pull your head back.
However, once you really get into it in this position, you can grab his butt and pull his groin up against your lips and just lie there for a while enjoying his balls on your nose, his bush tickling your chin and his cock deep in your throat. Just don't forget to breathe, okay? This position, which is similar to 69, also feels nice to him as the bottom of his coronal ridge rubs against the back of your throat as he strokes it in-and-out. In addition to being very psychologically erotic to your man, it is also a BIG visual turn-on since he’ll be able to watch your neck and throat expand and bulge as his cock slides in deep.
You know you can do it… so why not give throat fucking a try?! know you can do it… so why not give throat fucking a try?!
Once you're ready for him, close your lips around his cock and let him push it about halfway into your mouth. You'll probably be nervous now so play around with it some and relax. Once you're relaxed, signal him to start. Now he begins to slowly slide his cock deeper-and-deeper into your mouth. As the head of his cock nears the entrance to your throat, signal him to stop. Rest in this position, using your tongue to play with his cock until you are relaxed and ready for him to shove it home. Then, taking a deep breath, flatten your tongue out under his cock and signal him to slide it slowly down into your throat. Inhale it around the corner (if you have to) but try to let him push it around and then on down deeper-and-deeper until he's got the whole thing buried in you. Although the feel of his cock in your throat will be the same, the sensations of him thrusting it into your throat will be far different from those you experienced when you were sliding your throat down over it. That said, it really turns on many women!
The key is relaxation
Hold him against your face until you need to take a breath, then signal him to withdraw his cock far enough for you to breathe freely. Let him hold it there while you breathe normally and relax again. Then, take a deep breath, signaling him to slide his cock back down to the bottom of your throat and hold it there until you need to take a breath. Keep doing this until he can sense when needs to pull his cock out for you to exhale. And, when you've filled your lungs and are ready for another stroke, gradually increase the nature and speed of his stroke from a slide to a thrust until you begin to feel uncomfortable with it. Let him pull it up out of your throat and almost all the way out of your mouth and then thrust it right back in without pausing, stroking its head from your teeth to the bottom of your throat in one motion.
Use the time between when his cock clears your throat on the way out and before it starts back into your throat again to quickly exhale and inhale. Let him increase the speed of his thrusts until it interferes with your breathing. Once you're comfortable with him stroking his cock back and forth between your teeth and the bottom of your throat, take a deep breath and let him use short quick strokes just popping the head of his cock in-and-out of your throat until you need to breathe. Take another deep breath and let him make short fast strokes deep in your throat with his groin gently bumping your lips until you need to breathe.
You seem shocked that this feels so great to you?
He should increase the length of his strokes again until the head of his cock is stroking from your lips to the bottom of your throat, with his groin gently bumping against your lips. Let him learn to pull his cock out of your throat slowly and smoothly enough to keep it from coming out of your mouth and find out how fast and hard he can thrust his cock back into your throat without it either becoming unpleasant or too fast for you to breathe. If you'd like him to thrust it in faster but need more time to breathe, then slow his withdrawal stroke.
That's it... that's throat fucking! Keep changing the length and speed of his strokes, how far his cock goes into your throat, how far it comes out into your mouth. Find out which strokes feel best to you, after all, you're the one being fucked and you should enjoy it too.
But don’t over do it!
If you find that you're breathing too much and hyperventilating – or you're really into it and want to speed up his strokes even more – turn that Bolero tape back on and change your breathing pattern. Inhale just before his cock enters your throat at the beginning of the first stroke, then exhale just as it leaves your throat at the end of that stroke. Next, take it right back in on the second stroke with your lungs empty, then inhale just as it clears your throat at the end of that second stroke and take it right back in with your lungs full. In other words, instead of inhaling-and-exhaling on the same stroke, inhale on the first, exhale on the second, inhale on the third, and so on. Timing is key: some people have even used a metronome to keep her breathing and his strokes synchronized. Continue repeating this cycle for as long as it feels good, until you get tired, or when he cums. While describing it verbally sounds complicated, it's really not hard to learn and soon becomes second nature.
Some helpful reminders:
It's important that he know that he must always take reasonably slow, steady, even strokes, especially when he cums. You have to guide him when you want – or are willing to accept – faster, harder strokes. He must start slowly, especially if this is a completely new experience for the two of you. His only other requirement during this exercise is to keep the motion of his cock straight and lined up with your throat.
One other word of caution concerning throat fucking: Do NOT let him get carried away when he starts to cum! He'll have the urge to thrust his cock all the way down into your stomach, but that urge to thrust has to be controlled. The most important lesson of these early exercises is to keep it under control! As the two of you gain confidence in each other through practice, you can let him step up the pace and intensity of his strokes as he nears his climax. When he's fucking you and getting near his climax, you bring your cunt up to meet his thrusts. You can do the same thing with your throat, respond to his climax by meeting his thrusts with your throat. Bring your face firmly up against his groin, not hard enough to bruise your lips, just firmly enough for both of you to know that he's got all of it in you. Use your hands on his hips to pull his cock into you to find out how hard he should thrust.
At least in the beginning, keep your hands on his hips while you're throat fucking so you can guide his strokes and control where his cock is when he cums. If you don't want to take his cum into your mouth (and can hold your breath and relax your throat long enough to keep his cock deep in your throat while he cums) you'll not be faced with the problem of tasting or swallowing his cum (because it will shoot right on down into your stomach!). If he's fucking your throat, he'll probably want to keep his cock all the way in, using short quick strokes at the bottom of your throat as he shoots his load down into your stomach (it's that desire to plant his seed deeply). However, while holding your breath is helpful, if you do it too often you’ll become tired. And if you get too tired you can easily re-trigger your gag reflex.

Relax, relax… that can’t be said enough
You must relax completely to enjoy his short hard strokes with his cock all the way down in your throat, and he has to be careful not to bruise your lips. To do this long enough for him to completely get it off requires more than a few days practice. However, with time and practice you'll become more comfortable with what you are doing. The ability to relax will come with your comfort level. Hey, you don't actually think that this is work, do you??? Since you've already practiced it, you'll be able to take him completely down your throat, but may not be able to maintain the proper relaxation and breath holding long enough for him to shoot his load.

Practice is the key!
Each time you practice you'll be able to hold him in longer. It'll help if you can learn to get him almost to the point of cuming and then take an extra deep breath before he starts those final short thrusts at the bottom of your throat. Remember that you don't want to be inhaling while he's shooting cum down your throat! The only way you'll find out if you can hold your breath with his cock deep inside of you long enough for him to shoot it all is to give it a try. If you try and he's starts to cum – but it's going to take too long for him to finish – just push his cock back out of your throat into your mouth quickly, swallow, take a breath and let him finish. Keep practicing this until you know your limits and how to deal with them.

And if things go a little askew, don’t freak out!
It won't hurt you if he does cum in your throat, or if some of his cum runs down your throat while he's shooting his load. It's not very different from swallowing a thick syrup. When you swallow, the entrance to your larynx is closed off and the liquid goes down your esophagus into your stomach… it'll also close when his cock slides past it. With practice, you can learn to close it yourself anytime you want to – try closing it while you're exhaling through your mouth. The only time you'll have a problem is if you try to inhale while his cum is running, or being shot out of a thrusting cock, past your larynx. Even then, it'll only be unpleasant, no worse than choking on a swallow of water. It's important that you learn to deal with this potential problem because you don't want to interfere with the natural flow of events when you're both enjoying his climax. The key is in your breathing: you can let him cum with his cock anywhere in your mouth or throat, including stroking it in-and-out of or up-and-down in your throat. He can even shoot his load down into your throat with his cock at the entrance, just don't inhale while his cum is running past the entrance to your larynx – swallow first, and then inhale.

It’s not a science, it’s an art…
Whether you're deep throating him or he's fucking your throat, don't be too mechanical about it. Once you get used to that luscious cock filling your mouth and throat with his belly pressing against your face, a few short quick strokes gently bumping his groin against your mouth, maybe with a little wiggle or two, can feel great to both of you. When the two of you become familiar with each other’s desires, you can add more pleasure by using your hands on each other. It will feel great to him when you grab his butt and press his belly tight against your face, rubbing your nose around in his bush. It can also feel great to you for him to place his hands on your head and gently press your face against him… it's a psychological thing, sort of like firm hugs when you're fucking. Don't forget, you can pull him tight against your mouth and hold him there any time you want to. It's psychological, for him and for you.

To drive him even wilder…
Every so often, take an extra deep breath, grab his butt, pull him all the way into you and hold him there. Play around with his cock, work it around in your mouth and throat, swallow repeatedly, rub your face over his groin, play with his balls. Let him hold your head with his hands while he strokes his cock in-and-out in quick, short, gentle little strokes, keeping it deep in your throat, bumping his groin against your lips. Let him try those same short strokes with the head of his cock moving in-and-out of the entrance to your throat. Let him hold your face tight against him while he works his cock around-and-around in your mouth and throat. Learn what feels best for each other. If you both understand what it is that you're trying to do, as well as the possible problems that may come up along the way, you'll never regret having learned to give deep throat.

You’re learning. It may not be great every time…
Hopefully your man will understand that any initial difficulties you encounter are not a rejection of him or of what he's offering you... that all you need is practice. If you want to master these techniques, you CAN – it’s all just a matter of desire. Just continue practicing these skills at every opportunity! If THAT request is a problem for him, perhaps he should get his head examined!!!
However, it is possible that not everyone will perfect all of these deep throat techniques – but this inability does not make you any less of a cocksucker. Explain to him exactly what it is that you're doing: that you must learn to allow your throat to relax completely while he is thrusting his cock deeply down into your throat. To do this long enough for your partner to completely get off is admittedly difficult and may require practice that can go on for months – maybe even years. It may be that you are able to take your man completely down your throat, but you are not able to maintain proper throat relaxation until he shoots his load. Just promise yourself that you won’t stop trying or think that your blowjobs are unacceptable. If any man isn't satisfied just to have his cock in your mouth, then you probably don't want to have his cock anywhere inside of you.

I try and try, but it just isn’t happening
Remember what we said at the outset: while many women can and do, not every woman can learn to give deep throat, and not all penises are designed to be deep throated. While relatively rare, some are just too long or too big around for the woman to handle. There are some women that can deep throat larger and/or longer erections, but a few penises out there are simply too thick, curved too much, or just too short (too short? Hey, if it won’t reach your throat, then you can’t really expect to deep throat it can you?). However, these are the exceptions – the vast majority of women can deep throat the vast majority of penises. Remember that whenever you find yourself getting discouraged, and keep trying! If you want it bad enough, you will be able to learn to deep throat!
That's about it... let’s summarize by highlighting a few deep throat "tricks":
Flatten your tongue to make your throat opening bigger – practice doing this with a mirror
Tease his erection with your tongue while it is in your mouth
Press it against the roof of your mouth as it moves in-and-out
Try various suction pressures
Try various lip pressures – especially at the base of his erection when it’s deep in your mouth; press your lips hard around his base, or rapidly press-and-release
Learn to swallow against the head of his erection – he will go absolutely nuts!
While his cock is deep in your throat stick out your tongue to lick at his balls; while this talent will take a lot of practice, if you learn it he’ll go even more nuts!
Try a variety of head movements – while he’s deep in your throat twist your head from side to side as if saying "no"; or shake it as if saying "yes"; or twirl it around as if you were stirring a pot – be inventive!
Let him slide his erection very slowly in-and-out of your throat while watching (always remember that men are mostly visual – this applies to all of your lovemaking, not just oral sex or deep throating)
With his erection in your throat, rise up slightly and push down causing the head to pop in-and-out of your throat – repeat for as long as you can hold your breath
As you get better and gain confidence, you can actually deep throat him faster and faster... faster than you imagine!
Let him control the action through throat fucking – it will be especially erotic when he cums
Swallow against his head as he cums deep within your throat
Finally, here are a few, last helpful hints:
Make noises... sigh, moan, etc. Let him know you’re having fun too! Men may mostly be visual, but hearing your ecstasy will help drive them over the edge!
Lots of saliva makes it easier to deep throat, because it acts as lubricant. Drooling is okay, honest (take a look at the current crop of deep throating porno stars – Bobbi Bliss comes immediately to mind – you'll think there is more saliva outside than inside of their mouths!) But, if you don’t salivate enough use a lot of water-based lubricant.
Slurp! Slurp your saliva. He’ll love it!
Remember, deep throating is a great way to avoid tasting most of his ejaculate... if you still find the flavor unpleasant.

Congratulations!
Continue to practice your deep throating – your don't have to deep throat on every stroke, or even every time you give head. You can give great head with just the tip of his cock in your mouth and he'll love it – but it sure feels good to him when you push your face into his pubes (sort of like how you feel when he leaves your clit and thrusts his tongue deep in your pussy). Just know that there are couples who have devoted as many as ten-or-twelve months to developing these skills and they have never regretted a minute of it. All-in-all it’s a matter of enthusiasm. Your enthusiasm for his pleasure can make up for any of the difficulties related to his size.
Remember, his pleasure is your ultimate goal. Be creative! Have fun!! Keep in mind that his mind is his most important sex organ, so anything you can do to turn-on his mind will only add to the depth and intensity of his pleasure. Continue practicing, because each time you practice you'll be able to take his cock deeper into your throat and hold it there longer. If you believe in "the deeper the better", and if you have the desire to both give and get the most out of giving head, have no doubt whatsoever that you'll absolutely get this one down pat!

Copyright 1999-2006 Tarkus' Deep Throating Extravaganza!,

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The G-Spot

Introduction
For me, having my first two fingers inside someone I love is one of the most wonderfully intimate activities on the planet. With some of my female lovers, this form of sex seems to have been enhanced through conscious stimulation of the so-called "G-spot." Over time, several of my friends have commented that it would be nice to write down some of the things that can help make G-spot play fun, and this article is our collaborative result.
It should go without saying that every woman is different, and that you should pay attention to what feels good for the unique person you are with: if anything in this guide conflicts with what your partner knows or thinks would feel good for her, then go with her suggestions rather than mine. Good communication really IS the cornerstone of terrific sex, after all...
Preparing Your Hands
If you absolutely must have long fingernails for fashion reasons, then you'll probably want to put cotton balls around them and don latex gloves before doing any penetration. If you don't need your fingernails long, then go ahead and clip them short before playing. Even if you have short fingernails, you may in some circumstances wish to wear a latex glove on your "insertive" hand for comfort or "peace of mind" reasons; see the "Lubes and Gloves" section of this article for details.
The Basic Idea
For many women this type of vaginal penetration can be physically and emotionally intense; it isn't the sort of play most folks would want to leap into immediately after taking their clothes off. If you think of sex as being like a feast, you should probably think of the things this article will talk about as being the "main course."
So... Start out by kissing and stroking and teasing each other until you two can't stand it any more (many women find that vaginal penetration and G-spot play feel especially good after a lot of cunnilingus. When the two of you get to the point where a little penetration starts to sound nice, grab your bottle of water-based lube, apply it liberally to your "insertive" hand, wait for it to heat up to near body temperature (unless you had placed your lube bottle in a bowl of warm water to keep it warm), and slowly (teasingly?) insert your first two fingers into your lover's vagina.
At this point, many couples like to alternate between patterns such as these:
Move your fingers in even circles all around the vagina, with your fingers as far "in" as is comfortable for the receptive partner. It generally feels best if you keep consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the fingers against the vaginal walls and if you keep the pressure fairly constant while rotating (though you can give a LITTLE extra pressure at 12 o'clock [towards her belly] as long as you don't break the steady rotational rhythm).
Stop rotating and rest your fingertips on the (often slightly ridged) area of the vagina just behind the pubic bone and exert pressure upwards, towards her belly. This is direct G-spot stimulation, and it usually feels best if the fingers are subtly moving somehow. You can move them in small, slow circles, or point the fingers more sharply upwards and rock them forwards and back.
Embellishments
Some couples find it erotic and pleasurable when the insertive partner thrusts his or her hand in and out and in and out (and for an extra thrill, possibly exerts pressure upwards when withdrawing to involve her G-spot a little more). It might also feel good to her for you to use your thumb to rub her clitoris while the first two fingers of your hand rest, move in circles, rub her G-spot, or thrust in and out.
Your non-insertive hand can do an almost endlessly delicious variety of things. You might try:
Holding the "penetratee"
Gliding your hand all over her body
Depending on your mutual comfort levels with "power" play and anal play, you might also experiment with one or more of the following:
Firmly grabbing her hair while kissing her
Holding her hands above her head
Pinching her nipples
Penetrating or just massaging the outside of her anus (especially if she's lying on her side)
You can also lie down or crouch so that your head is next to hers and whisper hot things in her ear (incorporating fantasies which you know your partner enjoys into your verbal teasing and hot talk is almost always fun). Passionate kissing is usually welcome, as is licking or sucking your partner's nipples while she is being penetrated.
Licking, kissing, or sucking on your partner's clitoris might also feel good to her during vaginal penetration. You and your partner might find vaginal penetration and G-spot play to be more arousing if she is somehow pleasuring you as you are pleasuring her; this can work equally well for same-sex as for opposite-sex couples, though you might have to do some experimenting to find the body positions that are most comfortable for the two of you.
Multiple Orgasms
Most women who have experienced both claim that it is easier to have multiple G-spot orgasms than it is to have multiple clitoral orgasms. If an orgasm rears its lovely head while you two are playing, try whispering some words of encouragement (and perhaps ratchet up the intensity just a little bit), but basically continue pleasuring through her orgasm, afterwards, and possibly into a next one. As long as it still feels good for both of you, what's the point of stopping? There is often a "pyramid effect" with multiple G-spot orgasms; each one makes the next one feel better, and makes almost anything else sexual feel better too. However, as I said earlier everybody is a little different, and quality is obviously more important than quantity.
It IS true for some women that G-Spot play may become more likely to result in orgasm over a period of weeks or months after first starting to experiment with it. It is also true that the intensity of G-Spot orgasms may be directly related to pubococcygeal muscle tone, which is another incentive for doing regular PC muscle exercises.
If you want to try including your G-Spot when masturbating, one good combination of toys would be a Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator (used on your clit as you're getting warmed up) together with a Archer Wand (for pressing into your G-spot), or possibly a Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator with a "G-Whiz" attachment.
By the way, in general it isn't a good idea to have a huge ego/emotional stake in having (or "giving") orgasms or multiple orgasms; most sex educators believe it isn't helpful to get "goal oriented" about something that's supposed to be fun.
Fisting
Some women enjoy vaginal fisting (having all or most of their lover's hand in their vagina). This is DEFINITELY a case where you should proceed only with your partner's active and ongoing encouragement and within her comfort level. If you two would like to give vaginal fisting a try, then I'd recommend first reading Deborah Addington's book A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting. However, the basic technique is as follows: with your hand palm up (and your lover on her back or on all fours) bring your fingers and thumb together to form something that looks like a duck bill. With massaging, and possibly gentle twisting motions, slowly tease your hand into her vagina. If your anatomies allows it, once you get past the third knuckles your fingers will start to gently and naturally curve back to form a fist. The whole procedure takes time and plenty of trust, but the women and men who can take a whole hand vaginally or anally often claim that it leads them to transcendent, ecstatic altered states (read TRUST/The Hand Book by Bert Herrman for a discussion of anal fisting, if that is your area of interest).
Even if safer sex issues are not a concern, many women find that it is more physically comfortable to be fisted when their partner is wearing (possibly powder-free) latex gloves.
Anatomical Musings on Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot
According to The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans, the G-spot, anatomically, is the area beneath the urethral sponge (see the illustrations below, from the alt.sex FAQ). This might at least partially explain its role in what is often called "female ejaculation." It also may shed light on why G-spot stimulation makes some women feel as if they have to urinate when they really don't (several studies have shown that female ejaculate is not urine).

For Men...
Many of these G-spot techniques will work in a similar fashion on men when performed anally. Men have what is called a "prostate gland," the stimulation of which can provoke and/or intensify orgasms. One may stimulate the prostate gland with one or two fingers a few inches inside the anus pressing towards the penis, which leaves the other hand free to massage the penis itself. The prostate gland usually feels like a little dome. Please see the latest edition of Jack Morin's book Anal Pleasure and Health or The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men for more information on prostate play.
Lubes and Gloves
It is almost certainly true that you are much less likely to pick up or transmit diseases from the activities this document describes than you are from many other common sexual activities (such as unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse). If you and your partner don't wish to use gloves and one or both of you is possibly infectious, just be aware that menstruation or the presence of cuts on your hands adds risk, and washing your hands with hot water and anti-bacterial soap after playing (before rubbing your eyes) reduces risk. For absolute protection when playing with someone of unknown HIV/STD status (and/or when YOU are of unknown HIV/STD status), standard latex "examination" gloves can be used.
Boxes of these gloves may be purchased at many drug stores. Except in cases of powder allergies or sensitivities it doesn't matter whether the gloves are powdered or not, but do make sure you buy the size that fits you properly.
I've tried a lot of different products and have personally settled on the following choices: Water-Based Lube: Slippery StuffLatex Condoms: Kimono Microthins, without N-9 Oral Barriers: Glyde "Lollyles" Gloves: Standard Latex Examination Gloves, unpowdered
I've also tried the new silicone-based lubes, which feel like oils (and can be used underwater) but which have many of the desirable properties of water-based lubes (including being safe to use with latex). Some women have liked the vaginal feel of these silicone lubes but most haven't, leading me to conclude that they might be more appropriate for anal intercourse and male genital massage than for G-spot play or vaginal intercourse. Water-based lubes without Nonoxynol-9 are still the best all-around lube choice, in my opinion.
The plain Kimono MicroThins condoms taste fine for oral sex; certainly, they taste better than powdered, unlubed condoms and those mint condoms (if you find a Kimono MicroThin condom that tastes bad, it's probably because you picked up one of the Nonoxynol-9-coated ones by mistake). The Glyde barriers, like all oral barriers, feel even better if you put a drop of water-based lube on your partner's side before applying them. Some men like to put a drop of water-based lube in the tip of a condom before putting it on to increase sensation, but other men (especially those who have been circumcised) don't notice a significant difference.
We've prepared guides to the different lubes and safer sex barriers currently available, which may help you make your selections.
A Final Comment
Ultimately, most sex is about pleasure and/or intimacy rather than "technique," and if one's entire focus is on "technique" rather than either of these things sex can often lose some of its spark. In other words, this whole article should be taken with a grain of salt; it has value only insofar as it inspires more pleasure, passion, and joy in your life.
Happy loving!

Copyright © Society for Human Sexuality. All rights reserved

She's loving the sex

She's loving the sex...or at least you think she is. Could she be faking it? We're going to help clue you in to signs — during and after the act — that reveal if you've pleased her...or not.

She's Physically Amped

Listen to her breathing. "If she's panting, even lightly, you're turning her on," says Darcy Luadzers, PhD, author of The 10-Minute Sexual Solution: A Busy Couple's Guide to Having More Fun, Intimacy, and Sex. "It's more telling than a moan because it's an forced response."
Notice her skin too. "Her chest and neck region become flushed," Luadzers says. "Also look for her to flex her legs, curl her toes, arch her back, and move her pelvis deeply and rhythmically." If she's not feelin' it, she'll just lie there.
She's Not Making Sense

"I, whoa, oh God, goooooo." While you might think an alien life force has invaded her body, her gibberish means she's really into it. "If her speech is off, it means that she's totally caught up in the sensations," says Tracey Cox, author of Superhotsex. However, if her words come out straight and clean, she's likely just counted ceiling crack number 12.
She Gets Up to Do Stuff

"When a woman is sexually gratified, she'll crave contact via cuddling, talking, or wanting to go for round two," says Luadzers. "When she's dissatisfied, she'll detach, which could entail rolling over or getting out of bed."
So if she bolts to make a snack, call a friend, or turn on the TV, it's not good, buddy. "Busying herself means that those things were either on her mind during the act or she wasn't satisfied and is frustrated," says Cox.
Her Praise Is Pat

"Great!" sounds positive, but "her one-word summary means she wants more and isn't telling you," Cox says.
But don't get discouraged — simply break the silence with sexy humor. "Tell her that last round was just your college-boy performance, and you can do better," says Luadzers. Make good on your word by asking what would drive her insane. Says Luadzers, "A woman who wasn't turned on the first time can become very sexual when she gets encouragement from her man to ask for more."

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